History and My Anxiety

I have always been anxious about what might happen next, but there are days when i am anxious about the past. 

Previous mistakes. 

I am haunted by the mistakes i did in the past that could hurt me in the present. I am afraid of the nudes i sent and my idiotic drunk self files. I am afraid of the words I said that may have left an impression to a person. I am afraid that everything that made me happy in the past will stop me from being happy in the future.

Myself, as someone else’s past.

Each day i think about the memories that i will be leaving. The scars, and the traces of me that i leave to a person matter to me. I have to make the most out of what we have now so that when i become his past, his future self will have irreplaceable memories to deal with. Even during happy relationships i think of my reputation as an ex girlfriend. I am worried that when i become his past, i’d be just another thought that doesn’t stand out.


12 thoughts on “History and My Anxiety

    1. Maybe we mostly get anxious due to tragic past events but as for me i still get anxious with every what ifs. Like what if something terrible happens the next day? I think both past and present can make me anxious 😊😊😊 how about you?

      Liked by 1 person

      1. For me, I think it’s the past events that make me anxious for the present as well as the future. 🙂
        Btw, amazing post. It actually makes one think about something so trivial, that we pass it on without a blink.

        Liked by 1 person

      2. I love talking about issues I can’t talk in real life and wordpress bloggers such as yourself are so supportive. Thank you for taking the time to read and sharing your thoughts with me, truly appreciate it ❤

        Liked by 1 person

  1. I was thinking of a response to your post, then I realised…… you were thinking out loud!
    All I can say is whether past or future, you are the ‘present’ for probably over 1000 people!- i’m counting followers and everyone else in your life- family work, friends , enemies etc- and that includes me! Thanks for sharing 🙂 🙂

    Liked by 2 people

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