Articles

History and My Anxiety

I have always been anxious about what might happen next, but there are days when i am anxious about the past. 

Previous mistakes. 

I am haunted by the mistakes i did in the past that could hurt me in the present. I am afraid of the nudes i sent and my idiotic drunk self files. I am afraid of the words I said that may have left an impression to a person. I am afraid that everything that made me happy in the past will stop me from being happy in the future.

Myself, as someone else’s past.

Each day i think about the memories that i will be leaving. The scars, and the traces of me that i leave to a person matter to me. I have to make the most out of what we have now so that when i become his past, his future self will have irreplaceable memories to deal with. Even during happy relationships i think of my reputation as an ex girlfriend. I am worried that when i become his past, i’d be just another thought that doesn’t stand out.

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12 thoughts on “History and My Anxiety

    1. Maybe we mostly get anxious due to tragic past events but as for me i still get anxious with every what ifs. Like what if something terrible happens the next day? I think both past and present can make me anxious 😊😊😊 how about you?

      Liked by 1 person

      1. For me, I think it’s the past events that make me anxious for the present as well as the future. 🙂
        Btw, amazing post. It actually makes one think about something so trivial, that we pass it on without a blink.

        Liked by 1 person

      2. I love talking about issues I can’t talk in real life and wordpress bloggers such as yourself are so supportive. Thank you for taking the time to read and sharing your thoughts with me, truly appreciate it ❤

        Liked by 1 person

  1. I was thinking of a response to your post, then I realised…… you were thinking out loud!
    All I can say is whether past or future, you are the ‘present’ for probably over 1000 people!- i’m counting followers and everyone else in your life- family work, friends , enemies etc- and that includes me! Thanks for sharing 🙂 🙂

    Liked by 2 people

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