Struggles and Insults

I finally had the assurance that i am officially a graduate, so I told him (a guy i’m dating) that i think i will be seeing less of him although i am still not sure which path to take. The excitement I felt months ago turned into fear and pressure at this very moment. I am pressured to act as an adult, to be an achiever and to be confident and as mature as other girls my age. I have always wondered about the struggles of everyone who went through the transition from being a student and into a career woman. Girls my age are doing so well with the path they are taking that it makes me wonder what class did i miss to lack such sophistication, grace and confidence. I realized that everyone who told me “congratulations” got no clue how empty, scared, and unsecure i feel despite my achievement.

Today I was telling him and a friend about the pressure and confusion that lies within me. I told them that i probably took the wrong course since i majored in sales and communication, which i know will lead me to a job that i am not comfortable with. I worked so hard to pass my subjects, i went through proposals, outputs and practical tests that made me realize how much i hated being in that field. I was ranting about that, but i’m already through with all my subjects. I mentioned that maybe i should take another course related with programming.

“You won’t make it.” He said.

“You can’t stand that.” A friend seconded.

Since I wasn’t entirely convinced about taking up programming, i let their sentiments go. Even though I haven’t tried and they haven’t seen me try, maybe afterall, they could be right.

After a while they asked me about the possible jobs i will be applying. I told them the truth, i have no clue. I know i am at fault for having a plan my entire college life but not knowing that i already should’ve started implementing it. I know I am at fault for not figuring things out ahead of time, and now that i really should figure everything out, i am filled with fear and pressure because i ended up unprepared. Since this friend had a part time job online, he suggested that i should try it, but before i could reply he already said, “you’ll probably already be eleminated on the first category” . He laughed, but i didn’t. I could not stop myself from making it evident that I got angry.

At the end of the day i forgave their sentiments because i forced myself to believe that what they told me won’t matter since it will be me who will get things done. I managed to convince myself although everything they said became a burden to my  chest.

Before i slept this friend called me up and we talked about random things for a while until i felt the urge to write a blog post (because i haven’t written for a while) . I asked for a few minutes to be away, he then asked what will i be doing and i told him that i will be writing something for wordpress. He said, “why bother you won’t get rich with that anyway.”

That day i concluded that this dude is so full of himself and he never understood an inch about me. He’s just so lucky that i am tolerating him and even luckier that he won a space on my blog because as much as i hate it, i just wrote about him!


25 thoughts on “Struggles and Insults

  1. Everyone starts somewhere. When I was younger, everyone had a plan for my life. My life was sade, no risk taking, nothing exciting at all. One day, in college, I decided to be free. My life now, is not at all how I had planned. I have two kids at 24 and married. I am also going through my fair share of ups and downs. But I am happy and I have no regrets. We always want to change things in life but the thing about life is that you can never predict it and tomorrow it might be all over for us. What i am trying to say is that, nothing ever goes according to plan always, but you need to make the best out of every moment. Dont bother about those who demotivate you, one day when you’re living and loving and enjoying your life, they will be putting a facade of happy but be living the reality of sadness.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. (Sorry i took days to reply.) Thank you so much for taking the time to read and for bothering to motivate me with your words. I am happy for you, it sounds like you’re truly loving the life you have now. I just wish i am as brave as you are. Anyway, i’ll remember what you said and allow it to help me with my journey after college. Godbless ❤

      Liked by 1 person

  2. You don’t have good friends and that guy you’re talking to..Don’t get me started. They don’t know anything. You need to try first before giving up. You should not be listing to negative people like that. Get them out of your life. They are not helping you at all. I understand that you’re scared and you’re insecure about your career path but you really should try it. Try to show them you can do it.
    Also they don’t know anything about WordPress or blogging. I love your writing and your site. One day you will be making money of it. Don’t give up, have hope. You can do it. It will happen.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. I unexpectedly found so much motivation on wordpress more than i can find from the people i know in real life. Your words are such an inspiration, thank you so much. Everything you said is truly appreciated ❤😊

      Liked by 1 person

  3. How do they know you won’t make any money with your blog? People can be very negative. That happened to me.

    When I was on TV (I have some articles they did about the Buttpillow on my blog) and in the newspapers with my new invention, the patented Ergonomic Seating Cushion, every lawyer I had worked for when I was a stenographer did everything they could to set me up to fail. The kicker came when my manufacturer, who my lawyer had referred me to, tripped the cost for me right when I was going do a commercial. It would have cost me $$$ to move forward at that time and price point.

    I still have 5 years left on my patent and I am having trouble finding a U.S. manufacturer. I might need to go outside the country. Anyone who helps me find a manufacturer now, could make money as an independent contractor. The market is huge. You could definitely make money from your blog. People are so competitive and not happy for other people when they are successful. That sucks. Melanie 🙂

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Your story is very impressive and challenging at the same time. I hope it’s doing great for you. Thank you so much for sharing. I am still learning my way through wordpress and the only way i think i could earn money is through ads. I hope i would be as knowledgeable as most of you here when it comes to managing a site. Once again, thanks Melanie ❤😊


      1. I didn’t know this section was here. I am looking for an open cell manufacturer in the U.S. I was going to post a picture of the patent in my response to your response so you could get an idea in case you have any open cell manufacturers that you know of but a bunch of code came up. It is a simple dye cut. Everyone I have contacted so far is trying to get me to go to China. I am afraid to fly and have barely been out of Miami. My old manufacturer was in Miami.

        Liked by 1 person

  4. I just finished reading your blog. Graduation from college and making life’s important decisions can become overwhelming at your age. Sadly your friends aren’t exactly into encouragement. Take your time, reflect on what path ‘you’ want to follow. Words of wisdom.

    Liked by 1 person

  5. I recently graduated too and I can see where you’re coming from. I told my parents that I’d take a break first instead of taking the board exam right away. But now I’m at lost on what I should do during the break. They’re not voicing it out but I could feel the pressure of being jobless. I wanted to become successful in my field but I don’t even know where to start. I wanted to sign up for online jobs and perhaps take on a few projects but at the same time I just wanted to relax first. Well, this is partly the reason why I’ve decided to join WordPress so that I could express and release my thoughts before I make any big decisions. I wish you the best and I hope you’ll find a job that you really love.
    P.S. I don’t know your friend personally but in my opinion he shouldn’t have said that.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. It’s comforting to know that i am not the only one with these struggles. I tried signing up for online jobs too but i’m afraid my parents won’t find it to be enough for me. I wish you the best too, and i hope you blog about your journey because i’d love to read them ❤ thank you so much for sharing, may we both have great careers although we are currently struggling. Godbless 💕

      Liked by 1 person

  6. Don’t ever let other people’s comments stop you from pursuing what you want to do – I say follow your heart and your brain! Write about what you want, and so long as you put everything you’ve got into your chosen path, you’ll make it to where you are supposed to go in the end 🙂

    Liked by 2 people

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