I still believe he loved me with great intentions, he just messed up in the end. But before he messed up, before i decided that i am not going back, there are things he did that made me think that his dark soul has a bright side.
Here’s a list.
1. He never left during very heated arguments. He could’ve just went home first and turned his back on me, but he never did that.
2. I saw him cry many times. From silly reasons to the heartbreaking news. I saw his smile being ripped from his face. I saw him bare, and i loved what i saw.
3. He helps the needy every once in a while. He once paid for a child to play, also bought a meal for a homeless man.
4. Random gifts, random acts of kindness.
5. I remember last christmas, i wanted him to be with me. He went there for a while, even though i know he didn’t find it convenient.
6. He was always following me around. If there’s a place i needed to go and i don’t feel safe, all i do is call him. Worries erased.
7. He always considers if i am comfortable.
8. The little things. Downloading music/ebooks/movies for me. He gave me a portion of his gaming time.
9. I annoyed him so much he clenched his fist, and closed his eyes. I was never bothered because i was sure he’ll never hit me. He never did, and i think he could never do that to another girl.
10. “Where are you? What do you need? Want me to bring you water?” He showed that he cares.
Before i discovered about what he did, i kept asking myself, “what did i do to deserve a man like this?”
Although some of his acts could be fake, is it wrong for me to believe that behind a cheating douchebag is a gentleman?
I bet if i’d recall the terrible things he did, it will surpass this list. However, maybe thats what love does. It dims the light to where the horrible flaws are placed, and makes sure we only see what’s loveable.