When i discovered that i was being cheated on by my boyfriend with a girl named Helen (real name withheld), i was devastated. A week later, 100 kilometers away, there was coincedentally a girl named Helen who was cheated on by his boyfriend. Different girls, but as weird as it may sound, i honestly felt like i got even.

A week after that, there is this social media thread made by a girl who got cheated on. He posted a photo, and a series of screenshots of her former lover’s infidelity. That day until today, her tweets revolved around that cheating incident. The social media hype was over,  but she obviously wasnt. (This is the bad thing with making it public and viral. Everyone will seem to care for a while but people will move on to the next viral news, leaving you behind.)

Will i be so nasty if i’d admit that once again, it felt like i got even. It shamefuly feels good to hear news about girls being cheated on just weeks after i got cheated on — but don’t get me wrong. I don’t want girls to be cheated on and left crying at night. I want all girls to have a good relationship. I want all girls to be free from misery (although some nights i want the girl named Helen my boyfriend cheated with to undergo a mild pain, just a dose of karma).

I want all girls to feel loved, and that includes me. When i got cheated on i felt like the ugliest and unworthy human being. Everyday i enumerate my flaws and when one flaw is being unusually noticeable than it already was, i’d end up saying, “oh so that’s why he cheated on me.” There were days when i just decided that no other guy will ever love me and that my former relationship was just filled with fake happiness as he pretends that he finds me beautiful.

Seeing beautiful girls being cheated on gave me the slightest hope that maybe i am not trash after all. Seeing other girls being heartbroken made me hope that maybe i wasn’t cheated on because i wasn’t enough. Maybe i was cheated on because being a jerk flows on the veins of my former lover and no matter how good i try to be, i just couldn’t cure him.